SFO

My first non-Hawaii trip of the year was to the lovely city of San Francisco (SFO). Unfortunately, I could only make it for the weekend, but it was still good times.

Major agenda items, of course, included shopping. Sadly for me, Nordstrom was having their semi-annual Men's sale, so we didn't stop in. There was, however, a lot of H&M action as well as a visit to Alfani (where I purchased my fake wedding ring for Vegas) and DSW (where I purchased an awesome pair of shoes... and a matching purse). In case you're wondering, yes, these shoes are ridiculous and, yes, I plan on wearing them in Vegas... and carrying a back up pair of slippers.

Tru took me to this awesome, super-classy mall that kind of looked like the Ceasar's Palace shopping area, complete with a Kate Spade store at the enterance. I loved the store directories with the touchscreen interface. Tru was originally in the picture, but I couldn't quite get it so you could see more than his eyes... It was very Michael Jackson Thriller-esque.

We also did some sight seeing Golden Gate park, the Japanese Tea Garden and visting the various gorgeous districts with beautiful, yet teeny tiny houses.

Below are a couple of my random pictures including a bike. Not just any bike, but a Hummer bike. I think my exact words were "why the fuck not?" You sure as hell couldn't drive a real hummer around that city, so why not ride a Hummer brand (in Hummer yellow) bike? And, finally ,what trip to SFO would be complete without a visit to the park from the Full House opening credits. I was a TGIF-addict and have probably seen every episode of Full House. I know, it's terrible.

The night finished off with a visit to Tru's new boi toy, Aindreas' bar. We may or may not have started drinking at 4 pm... and by "drinking," I mean inhaling beer. A bit after we arrived at the bar, a couple of guys stood up and the girl next to them grabed the nearest ass she could. Truman turned to me and said, "did she just grab some stranger's ass?" Yes, yes she did. It all went downhill from there...

As we approached the, now vacant, seats, the girl screamed "you're gay!" and pulled Truman into the seat next to her. The next 30 minutes or so were filled with her praising gay men for their wonderfullness and sad attempts at feeling up Truman. I was about ready to step in and have a fag hag cat fight. She suddenly shut down and began to doze off in her chair allowing the bartenders to have a reason to take her outside and walk her to a cab. Sadly, she left a warm, wet present on her seat, although it was caught before anyone had the unfortunate experience of sitting in it.

Throughout the rest ofthe night I learned a lesson about knowing the bartender: A bottomless glass of Newcastle (seriously, it was never empty) + free shots of Grey Goose == jess passed out at 10 pm. It doesn't even end there! All week, I have been on the super awesome BRATT diet. I guess that's one way to prepare for Vegas.