2nd Day of Autumn

This evening I went on what will probably be my last run of the summer on the 2nd day of autumn. I'm coming to the conclusion of my week of checking boxes. Reorganize my room, review my calendar, schedule appointments, pay bills, grocery shop, watch the Seahawks game, clean the bathrooms, buy birthday gifts, take clothes to the dry cleaning, do my homework... Oh yeah, the reason why I'm so preoccupied reorganizing my life: school begins on Thursday.

All motivation and enthusiasm I had 3 months ago seems to have escaped me. I don't think I'm scared that I can't do it. I'm pretty sure I want to do it. I'm just a little daunted at the fact that I have to become business school-Jess: someone who ruthlessly shouts the right answer in class with Hermione-like instincts and strives to impress anyone and everyone who will listen, while (hopefully) avoiding looking obnoxious or offending anyone.

I really hope I snap out of this soon. I've been lying awake pondering how to find that perfect balance between the crazy perfectionist and the aloof student. The balance between succeeding in school and keeping the social life I have cherished over the past few years. I have spent my prior life being the student who hated school, but passed with flying colors based on an obsession with not failing real people or their high expectations.